They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
