You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
