is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
false alarm, still single
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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