It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The best revenge is premature balding
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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