I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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