If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
