Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
