i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
