i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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