Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
