you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Pants are for mortals
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
