end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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