yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
