fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
