Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
