that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
