Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
