Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
