I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
