I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You took a bar mat shot.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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