how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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