Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
