The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
