Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
