GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
