i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I love having hate sex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize