I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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