so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I die, sorry about rent.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
