im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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