if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
