gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish i was in the wii world.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm just crazy horny about you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
