yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
