If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
