NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
