what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
