they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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