I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize