i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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