ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
