Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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