We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
