What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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