My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize