Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Welp...herpes.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and she was petting her beer can
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
