Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
