try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
