is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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