i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
