im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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