she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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