one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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