We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
