To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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