Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
