Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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