bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
