I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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