Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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