when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
