I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My penis needs a shock collar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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