god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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