I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
