Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
