He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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