Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
