You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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