The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
