Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
