I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
